What you are to me
by HumanGuineapig
Summary: Munkustrap is lying in the infirmary and they're unsure if he'll survive the night. Tugger goes to see his brother and tells Munkustrap how much he means to him, remembering when they were kittens, telling Munk what he means to Tugger. Song Fic, R


Tugger sobbed as Bombalurina held him close. The Jellicles around him were crying as well. They were all outside the infirmary, as Jenny frantically worked inside, trying to save Munkustrap's life. Macavity and his hench-cats had ambushed Munkustrap and had attacked him viciously. When Alonzo had finally come across him, Munkustrap was splayed out on the alley ground, his eyes swollen shut, his lips split and swollen, his body clawed and bitten, his calf basically ripped open. He had lost so much blood.

Tugger had been flirting with Bomba on the tyre when he had heard Alonzo's frightened yell, screaming for anybody to help him. Tugger had been the first to run to Alonzo's aid, and had promptly collapsed to his knees when he saw his bloodied older brother, barely breathing, in Alonzo's arms. Alonzo had run off to Jenny, leaving a stunned Tugger kneeling on the ground, where Bomba eventually found him. She had knelt beside him, wrapped her arms around and had tried to comfort him as he finally broke down.

"Shh, Tugger, he's a fighter," Bomba had whispered to him, before pulling him up and taking him to the infirmary. By then, the Jellicles had woken up, hearing what had happened and had gathered around the infirmary, praying and hoping that their Protector would pull through.

A few hours later, Jenny and Jelly stumbled out, covered in blood…Munkustrap's blood. Jemima followed behind them quietly, she had been helping them. Jenny walked to Tugger.

"Go sit with your brother…he may not have long left," Jenny whispered to him, putting her paw on his shoulder.

"And Tugger only..." Jenny called out to the rest of the crowd. They all started muttering. Jenny held up a paw.

"We don't want to overcrowd Munkustrap," Jenny told them. Tugger slipped from Bomba's arms and walked into the den. Munkustrap was lying on a small cot, bandages wrapped tightly around his left calve, his abdomen, his chest, his right arm, his right ankle, his tail completely covered in them. He was covered in a fine sweat, his breathing heavy and ragged. Tugger's bottom lip trembled and he bit it, moving closer to Munkustrap and falling to his knees beside his middle brother, his favourite brother. What made it that much worse for everyone…was that it was Munkustrap's and Tugger's own eldest brother that had attacked Munkustrap, that had left him dying in the streets.

"Oh, Munk," Tugger whispered, taking Munkustrap's paw in his own. Munkustrap's paw was clammy and was cold. Tugger rested his head against Munkustrap's bandaged left shoulder, unable to stop sobbing. Tugger looked up, looking at the bloodstained bandages covering his brother's strong frame.

"Y-You can't leave me and the others, Munk…we need you," Tugger whispered, cautiously reaching up and stroking Munkustrap's sweaty forehead. He had never been this…humble, emotional, quiet and truthful but his brother was on the brink of death and Tugger couldn't bear to lose the brother that told him off, that shot him dark looks when Tugger flirted with the kittens.

"W-Who else will tell me off when I flirt with the kittens?" Tugger whispered. "Who will call me a bad influence?" Munkustrap remained still and quiet on the cot, his ragged breathing filling the room. Tugger couldn't help but think of the days when they were kittens. The days of running by the lake, tussling, making up games and stories. They were Tugger's happiest days. He used to love lying by his brother, his head on Munkustrap's stomach as Munkustrap told him stories. Tugger sobbed softly. Munkustrap meant so much to him; he was always there for Tugger when he needed him. Tugger gave a smile as a sunny autumn day appeared in his mind, with him and Munk running down by the river, both of them laughing. The tall, lanky kitten that was Tugger, with the too big mane…and the ball of fluff, slightly shorter than Tugger, which was Munkustrap.

_Remember those days,_

_The trees and toys and childhood fantasy, swings and kites,_

_And you right there with me_

_All the time to sit and make believe_

_And I see,_

_All the world would like to talk of life as poetry_

_So I could talk of oceans blue, mermaid's pearls and sunsets too,_

_But all of this would never be any start of what you are to me. _

_But nothing's always,_

_The only sure thing is that we're sure to grow_

_So much new and far too much to know_

_Too much gone and so much more to go,_

_Even so, _

_All the world would like to talk of what you have to show,_

_And I could tell of wise old men, lessons learnt_

_Then learnt again,_

_But all of this would never be any part of what you are to me._

_Making the most of our time,_

_Finding the fear and the climb are there for a reason,_

_And how having you there by my side,_

_Just to take part in my life is all I have needed._

_So I could talk of gods and stars, magic spells and sacred charms,_

_But all of this would never be any start of what you are,_

_I could try to find the words,_

_The sentiment that you deserve_

_But all of this would never be any start to any part_

_Of what you are to me_

Tugger rested his head back on Munkustrap's shoulder, sobbing roughly.

"D-Don't go, Munk…please, I can't lose my brother, I just can't," Tugger whispered. Tugger sniffed and startled when a paw rested on his own. Tugger looked up and saw Munkustrap looking at him through half-closed eyes.

"Those were the days…huh, Rums?" Munkustrap murmured. Tugger sat up.

"I-I should get Jenny!" Tugger rushed. Munkustrap grabbed his paw as Tugger went to go.

"D-Don't, Rums," Munkustrap murmured. "I-I don't want to be alone," Tugger's brown eyes widened.

"W-What do you mean?" Tugger stammered fearfully. Munkustrap rolled his head to the side, giving Tugger a sad smile.

"I'm not going to be around for much longer," Munkustrap told him softly. Tugger shook his head frantically.

"N-No, Munk…you can't die, you just can't!" Munkustrap pulled his brother onto the cot beside him, letting Tugger curl against his side like he used to when they were kittens.

"I-I miss those days," Munkustrap whispered. Tugger looked at him through teary eyes.

"When life was simple, when we would just run around, making up stories and playing," Munkustrap smiled, looking back at Tugger. Tugger nodded, curling close to Munkustrap. Munkustrap wrapped his arm under Tugger, so he could wrap his arm around Tugger.

"I-I loved your stories, Munk," Tugger murmured in his ear. "They were the high-light of my days,"

"For me, it used to be playing with you, Rums," Munkustrap told him. "Those days of running by the river," Munkustrap began coughing, blood droplets landing on his free paw. Munkustrap stared at them for a moment before letting his paw drop.

"I'm gonna get Macavity back for this!" Tugger whispered angrily, tears falling from his eyes. "H-He can't take away my favourite brother, he just can't!" Munkustrap pulled Tugger back against him, hugging him tightly.

"Don't, Tugger," Munkustrap murmured in his ear. "I don't want you being hurt or killed over me," Tugger looked back at Munkustrap. Munkustrap gave a bitter smile.

"After all, I'll be dead…what good would revenge do me?" Tugger pressed his face against Munkustrap's bandaged chest, sobbing loudly again as he was hit of the harsh reality that Munkustrap was going to die. Munkustrap's grip began to slacken on Tugger and Tugger lay down beside Munkustrap once more, his arm draped across Munkustrap's middle, hugging his brother awkwardly. Tugger inhaled Munkustrap's earthy scent before breaking down once more. He didn't want to lose Munkustrap, he didn't!

"R-Rums," Munkustrap's voice was raspy, faint now. Tugger looked back up at Munkustrap. Munkustrap rubbed Tugger's golden cheek, wiping away tears.

"I-I love you, Rums," Munkustrap murmured. "I-I'm sorry for every bad thing I said about you," Tugger let out a choked sob.

"I'm sorry for being the biggest pain in the ass to you when all you were trying to do was keep us safe," Munkustrap gave a weak smile.

"You being a pain in the ass was the high-light of my day…I had so much trouble trying not to laugh when I was telling you off," Munkustrap admitted to him. Tugger smiled.

"S-Sing that to me once more, Tugger?" Munkustrap whispered, closing his eyes.

_Remember those days,_

_The trees and toys and childhood fantasy, swings and kites,_

_And you right there with me_

_All the time to sit and make believe_

_And I see,_

_All the world would like to talk of life as poetry_

_So I could talk of oceans blue, mermaid's pearls and sunsets too,_

_But all of this would never be any start of what you are to me. _

_But nothing's always,_

_The only sure thing is that we're sure to grow_

_So much new and far too much to know_

_Too much gone and so much more to go,_

_Even so, _

_All the world would like to talk of what you have to show,_

_And I could tell of wise old men, lessons learnt_

_Then learnt again,_

_But all of this would never be any part of what you are to me._

_Making the most of our time,_

_Finding the fear and the climb are there for a reason,_

_And how having you there by my side,_

_Just to take part in my life is all I have needed._

_So I could talk of gods and stars, magic spells and sacred charms,_

_But all of this would never be any start of what you are,_

_I could try to find the words,_

_The sentiment that you deserve_

_But all of this would never be any start to any part_

_Of what you are to me_

Tugger finished and looked up. Munkustrap's face was peaceful. Tugger shifted and Munkustrap's paw fell off of his back.

"N-No, Munk!" Tugger cried, his paw pressing against Munkustrap's chest, trying to feel a heart beat. There was none.

Munkustrap had passed away.

Tugger howled in anguish, his heart breaking.

"I-I love you, Munk," Tugger whispered in Munkustrap's ear, though he knew he would never hear it. Tugger collapsed against Munkustrap, sobbing hard. Paws quickly rested on Tugger's shoulders, trying to pull him away. Tugger refused to be pulled away from his brother.

"No, Munk, no!" Tugger screamed.

"Shh, dear, I'm sorry, he's gone," Jenny was whispering in his ear, pulling him back. Tugger went limp, allowing Jenny to pull him away. Skimble took over Jenny's spot, hugging Tugger tightly as Jenny walked over to Munkustrap's still body.

"He looks peaceful," Jenny whispered, tears in her gentle brown eyes, as she looked back to Tugger and Skimble.

"You made his last moments peaceful, Tugger," Skimble murmured in Tugger's ear. Tugger's breaths were coming in jerky, quick breaths as he cried still. Jenny gently pulled a cover over Munkustrap's still body, finally blocking the body of their Protector.

The next day, they had the funeral. Deuteronomy stood behind Tugger, his paws on Tugger's shoulders as Tugger stared blankly at Munkustrap's grave. It wasn't right…it shouldn't have been Munkustrap! As the Jellicles began to disperse, Tugger stepped up and they all stopped, looking back at him.

_Remember those days,_

_The trees and toys and childhood fantasy, swings and kites,_

_And you right there with me_

_All the time to sit and make believe_

_And I see,_

_All the world would like to talk of life as poetry_

_So I could talk of oceans blue, mermaid's pearls and sunsets too,_

_But all of this would never be any start of what you are to me. _

_But nothing's always,_

_The only sure thing is that we're sure to grow_

_So much new and far too much to know_

_Too much gone and so much more to go,_

_Even so, _

_All the world would like to talk of what you have to show,_

_And I could tell of wise old men, lessons learnt_

_Then learnt again,_

_But all of this would never be any part of what you are to me._

_Making the most of our time,_

_Finding the fear and the climb are there for a reason,_

_And how having you there by my side,_

_Just to take part in my life is all I have needed._

_So I could talk of gods and stars, magic spells and sacred charms,_

_But all of this would never be any start of what you are,_

_I could try to find the words,_

_The sentiment that you deserve_

_But all of this would never be any start to any part_

_Of what you are to me_

Tugger gave a small smile.

"I love you, Munk," Tugger whispered to the air, feeling the autumn breeze caress his cheek. Tugger closed his eyes and inhaled…it smelt like Munkustrap's scent. Tugger sighed and turned away, going back to his father. He would mourn Munkustrap, but he would never forget those days as kittens.

_End_

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This is probably the saddest thing I've ever written, I shed a few tears writing this.

The song is called 'What you are to me' I don't know who wrote it…but if you go on youtube and search Shaun Rennie (who is Australia's Munkustrap) you should find a video of him and his brother singing this song to remember their other brother who died from Leukaemia three years ago.

Sorry if three times were too many for the song to be used!

Magical. Misses. Mistoffelees, remember how we were talking about my nan's Christmas present, I'm writing those lyrics up for her on a nice piece of paper and framing it…because she means a lot to me :D

Please read and review!

Luv HGP!


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